A Year Later

It's been a year since I dumped the piece of shit who worked so hard to ruin me and I'm so very grateful for therapy. I went from codependent and trauma bonded to self assured and full of love. Really, though, the dude was merely a blip in the grand scheme of things. We only dated six months, but the plethora of lessons I learned in those six months are going to serve me for many years to come, I'm sure of it. 

My therapist suggested that I make a list of things I learned about myself from being in a relationship with a narcissist. I ran this idea by my Sponsor (I work a 12 Step program) and she agreed that it would be helpful to have it on paper for future reference. (She's old school and doesn't use the internet for writing like I do, but this is just as good as paper.)

1. My boundaries are for my protection and anyone who doesn't respect them doesn't deserve my time or energy. 

2. I am allowed to have feelings, I'm allowed to express my feelings, and my feelings are valid.

3. No amount of gaslighting or manipulation will change me. Any changes I make are purely for my own good and I'm allowed to change and better myself at my own pace.

4. People who expect things from me that would damage my mental health or go against my values do not care about me.

5. Other people's bad behavior has nothing to do with me.

6. I am in no way obligated to tolerate other people's disrespect. 

7. I do not have to be around people who have harmed me.

8. I am allowed to say when someone has hurt me.

9. I am in control of who touches my body and how my body is touched.

10. No one is entitled to make demands on me, my life, or what I spend my time and energy on.

These are the most important things I learned and have lived by over the past year. These lessons have simplified my life, brought me closer to the people who love and respect me, and helped me grow so much. Who knew that spending six months with a sniveling coward would strengthen me so much, but here I am...fucking crushing it!

As this year draws to a close I'm so excited to see what the next one brings. Changing my perspective has changed my whole life. And deciding to dump a fucking clown just put me back in the driver's seat of my own progress. I've been a whole year without anyone trying to harm me and it's because of my ability to be honest with myself, my willingness to reflect on and take accountability for my own behaviors, and my ability to be open and vulnerable with the people in my life who genuinely care about me.

Life is good today.

💛❤ Hussy Love ❤💛