Sometimes A Woman Starts Menopause. And It's Fucking Hard.

Sometimes a woman just needs to write.  Sometimes she needs to get things out.  Sometimes she needs a release.  Sometimes she gets overwhelmed with life, and bills, and money problems, and what she's supposed to be doing, and whatever the fuck else it is that puts her in a dark place.

For me it seems to be a reoccurrence of being without money, no stamina to accomplish things, pre-menopause creeping it's ugly head into my body, and depression that comes and goes.

Some days are good.  Some days are bad.  My life is not bad, I just have this hormone thing going on and I can't seem to drag my body and mind together.

It doesn't seem serious yet, physically.  Aside of the night sweats and food cravings and being cold or hot sixty-eleventy times a day.  Not to me, anyway.  But my loved ones are noticing the changes.  And that has set my mind in motion.  My mind in motion is not a good thing.  My mind can, and has, gotten me in deep shit throughout my lifetime.  I'm a dark ass bitch.  For real.  (Dark minds think alike, am I right?)

The thing is, I'm at a place in life where I know that everything is going to be okay.  I don't have demons who are ready to pounce on me and put me under like other time periods, I've grown a lot in the last 7 to 10 years.  I have a positive outlook and positive reinforcements.  Those are things I've never really had years ago, or at least I didn't think I had them.  Maybe I was just too busy pushing people away to realize they were positive to me.

My question is this:  How long does this menopause shit last?
And one more question:  Why the fuck am I starting it this early?  I'm in my EARLY 40's, for fuck's sake!

Crazy Hussy.  I'm totally gonna change my name to Crazy Hussy.

This shit blows.  And by blows I mean like a hurricane kind, not like a blowjob kind.